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Post by Mean Mrs. Mustard on Aug 26, 2017 1:27:12 GMT -5
This is so fucking difficult but it's time to get back on track. I desperately need to get back on track. My life is seriously heading off a fucking cliff and I now need to take action. My whole attitude about this place and the treatment team just needs to be acceptance now. I dislike this place, but I'm now here and not going anywhere so I have to make the most of it. I've apologized to my parents and it's time to get myself centered again. I'm so terrified about what comes next - At the moment I have nowhere to go, and I'm unemployed. After doing treatment for 5 years, re-entering the world is incredibly scary - that's why everyone blocked my transfer, they want me to get out of treatment instead of always running back into it. That's not to say I will eat every meal, nor does it mean I won't want to continue losing weight (172 lbs in April, 146 lbs last week. Wow.).....But that in itself if a problem. -- You can't keep a part of the eating disorder, it needs to be completely given up and I really don't want to do that. UGHHHHH!!!!! Can someone please just tell me that I will be okay. That's all I want. Just reassurance that things will fall into place and I will be fine. That's all I want to sincerely hear.Lennon2217 Let It Bleed guigsysEstringDo you have a death wish?
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Aug 26, 2017 1:38:51 GMT -5
I am OK guys, stop asking.
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Post by mimmihopps on Aug 26, 2017 2:40:35 GMT -5
It makes me so angry to hear/see when people keep complaining their problems while there's so many people are dying by hunger, disaster, illness which they can do nothing about.
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Post by guigsysEstring on Aug 26, 2017 6:23:51 GMT -5
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 26, 2017 6:52:27 GMT -5
This is so fucking difficult but it's time to get back on track. I desperately need to get back on track. My life is seriously heading off a fucking cliff and I now need to take action. My whole attitude about this place and the treatment team just needs to be acceptance now. I dislike this place, but I'm now here and not going anywhere so I have to make the most of it. I've apologized to my parents and it's time to get myself centered again. I'm so terrified about what comes next - At the moment I have nowhere to go, and I'm unemployed. After doing treatment for 5 years, re-entering the world is incredibly scary - that's why everyone blocked my transfer, they want me to get out of treatment instead of always running back into it. That's not to say I will eat every meal, nor does it mean I won't want to continue losing weight (172 lbs in April, 146 lbs last week. Wow.).....But that in itself is a problem. -- You can't keep a part of the eating disorder, it needs to be completely given up and I really don't want to do that. UGHHHHH!!!!! Can someone please just tell me that I will be okay. That's all I want. Just reassurance that things will fall into place and I will be fine. That's all I want to sincerely hear.Lennon2217 Let It Bleed guigsysEstringI think you get the most out of rehab when you hate it and don't enjoy it, instead of going to rehab for a break from reality, it's instead, a lot of reality..... God bless.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 6:56:05 GMT -5
This is so fucking difficult but it's time to get back on track. I desperately need to get back on track. My life is seriously heading off a fucking cliff and I now need to take action. My whole attitude about this place and the treatment team just needs to be acceptance now. I dislike this place, but I'm now here and not going anywhere so I have to make the most of it. I've apologized to my parents and it's time to get myself centered again. I'm so terrified about what comes next - At the moment I have nowhere to go, and I'm unemployed. After doing treatment for 5 years, re-entering the world is incredibly scary - that's why everyone blocked my transfer, they want me to get out of treatment instead of always running back into it. That's not to say I will eat every meal, nor does it mean I won't want to continue losing weight (172 lbs in April, 146 lbs last week. Wow.).....But that in itself is a problem. -- You can't keep a part of the eating disorder, it needs to be completely given up and I really don't want to do that. UGHHHHH!!!!! Can someone please just tell me that I will be okay. That's all I want. Just reassurance that things will fall into place and I will be fine. That's all I want to sincerely hear.Lennon2217 Let It Bleed guigsysEstringpersevere. it's going to be alright.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 6:56:24 GMT -5
Bought the Fender Mustang amp The owner said there are several sound settings so I scrolled them. Found a setting called "Johnny Marr clean" and played This Charming Man intro. It sounded better than I've ever played even though I had my crappy 2nd guitar (80€ Harley Benton). Yeah I'll take it! e. Btw, I'm going to party tonight but I'm not even sure if I want to go because of my new amp Fucking hell I hate Ikea. For fuck's sake I've already spent an hour here doing fuck all. Still 130km away from home and we're going to eat too. Haven't even bought beers yet.
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Post by guigsysEstring on Aug 26, 2017 10:11:07 GMT -5
So yesterday I canceled by Netflix, which costs $10/month in order to save some money. But today, I had to setup a medical payment plan for $10/month. Fucking awesome #sarcasm. I hate life. One is a bunch of movies with rehashed scripts, albeit with excellent visual effects, and the other is I assume designed to help you with your ongoing healthcare needs #prioritiseNigelandleavethetagsforTwitterffs Re: your other post at least you are now acknowledging that your family and current therapists have your best interests at heart and are trying to help you move forward from care. Yes it will be frightening at times but remember you are not alone in going through such times as some of us have posted for example, and if you can make it you will not only have succeeded in this particular challenge but will also be a stronger person mentally from it as well Best, Guigs
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Post by guigsysEstring on Aug 26, 2017 10:17:27 GMT -5
It makes me so angry to hear/see when people keep complaining their problems while there's so many people are dying by hunger, disaster, illness which they can do nothing about. I understand mimmihopps but unfortunately it is human nature- that's why in an ideal world politically I am a libertarian but since like any other system it relies a lot on all people behaving well towards others I have to accept that other lines of thought are necessary. A good wake up call to how bad your life could be is a daily dose of various news channels, which although sometimes depressing does always make me appreciate the life I have
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Post by guigsysEstring on Aug 26, 2017 10:24:31 GMT -5
Bought the Fender Mustang amp The owner said there are several sound settings so I scrolled them. Found a setting called "Johnny Marr clean" and played This Charming Man intro. It sounded better than I've ever played even though I had my crappy 2nd guitar (80€ Harley Benton). Yeah I'll take it! e. Btw, I'm going to party tonight but I'm not even sure if I want to go because of my new amp Fucking hell I hate Ikea. For fuck's sake I've already spent an hour here doing fuck all. Still 130km away from home and we're going to eat too. Haven't even bought beers yet. Just one word really.....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 12:11:40 GMT -5
Arrived from family vacations and decided to get away from the girl i talked of some days ago. I just can´t deal with it anymore, and i managed to deal with her shit for a lot more than any of my mates told they would. She has a pretty fucking amazing side but the other one pisses me off extremely, if at least it was getting better...but i actually think she´s becoming worse.
Anyway, life goes on.
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Post by mimmihopps on Aug 26, 2017 12:25:32 GMT -5
I'm not on social media and I don't miss any of them.
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Post by guigsysEstring on Aug 26, 2017 14:23:26 GMT -5
I'm not on social media and I don't miss any of them. Think I've said before I have corporate accounts but nothing personal- a) I am not interested in wading through the various amounts of personal, political and romantic stuff that seems to be added every day and b) I'm not interesting or desperate enough to bore people with my own life I do like Sean Lock's take on Twitter though theyknowwhatimean
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 14:29:37 GMT -5
It's a nice change to be only slightly drunk while everyone else are wasted Although I still have 7 beers left in the fridge.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 14:53:17 GMT -5
I'm not on social media and I don't miss any of them. I recently left them and it has been for the best.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Aug 26, 2017 17:02:45 GMT -5
Still paying him apparently
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 19:21:19 GMT -5
I had a mild crush. There was one 15-16yo girl at the party and she had her phone plugged on the stereo. When she played 'It's The End of The World' by REM I thought fucking hell she's special. But I dunno, so young...
She was actually drinking with us last summer but I think she wasn't even 15! They start so young... Anyway, she's 4 years younger than me so I guess it's not that bad...
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 19:33:07 GMT -5
I had a mild crush. There was one 15-16yo girl at the party and she had her phone plugged on the stereo. When she played 'It's The End of The World' by REM I thought fucking hell she's special. But I dunno, so young... She was actually drinking with us last summer but I think she wasn't even 15! They start so young... Anyway, she's 4 years younger than me so I guess it's not that bad... The problem with the age gap there is the different states of life. I would probably never consider it because that would mean she would be at high school still deciding what to do whereas i would be in my second year of college. Very different priorities, maturity, etc.
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Post by Beady’s Here Now on Aug 26, 2017 19:35:32 GMT -5
Honey, I rose up from the dead. I do it all the time.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 20:00:10 GMT -5
I had a mild crush. There was one 15-16yo girl at the party and she had her phone plugged on the stereo. When she played 'It's The End of The World' by REM I thought fucking hell she's special. But I dunno, so young... She was actually drinking with us last summer but I think she wasn't even 15! They start so young... Anyway, she's 4 years younger than me so I guess it's not that bad... The problem with the age gap there is the different states of life. I would probably never consider it because that would mean she would be at high school still deciding what to do whereas i would be in my second year of college. Very different priorities, maturity, etc. Yeah I don't think it'd work because I'm going to uni and moving to other town next year. And I dunno, the age of consent is 16 so it's not like I'd anything wrong but it just feels weird. It was actually a surprise she was so young because she looked like the rest of the 17-18y girls. I've now been to 3 same parties with her even though she's like 15 max. Anyway, just speculation because I wasn't flirting with her or anything. Although I saw her looking at me a few times, dunno.
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Post by My Big Name on Aug 26, 2017 20:01:56 GMT -5
Today is my 5520th day of being alive.
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Post by Mean Mrs. Mustard on Aug 27, 2017 1:05:18 GMT -5
Hysterically funny.
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Post by Lennon's Ghost on Aug 27, 2017 2:57:41 GMT -5
"Life is very short, and there's no time For fussing and fighting, my friend" The Beatles
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Aug 27, 2017 3:40:58 GMT -5
Rice Owls today:
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Post by mimmihopps on Aug 27, 2017 3:48:49 GMT -5
I'm not on social media and I don't miss any of them. Think I've said before I have corporate accounts but nothing personal- a) I am not interested in wading through the various amounts of personal, political and romantic stuff that seems to be added every day and b) I'm not interesting or desperate enough to bore people with my own life I do like Sean Lock's take on Twitter though theyknowwhatimeanSame here. Not everybody has to know about my life and I don't need to know about everybody's life either.
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