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We're not actually sure when the season began or begins, but it seems as if we've reached the point where football is back. Happy days are here again - step this way for a few reasons to be cheerful...

It's the perfect excuse to start ignoring the Aussies bashing us in the cricket.

- According to an unofficial Football365 study, women tend to be more tolerant of the announcement 'I'm off to the pub to watch the football' than the mere 'I'm off to the pub'. F365 urges all responsible F365ers to take advantage of this weakness.

- Sky Sports will stop pretending that Masters Football is a valid substitute for the proper stuff.

- That moment on the opening weekend of the season when you walk up the steps of the stadium and see the pitch for the first time - a strangely fantastic experience. If you're not wowed, you've officially fallen out of love with the game. We pity you.

- It's Arsenal's final year at Highbury. They've already confirmed that the Ashburton Grove pitch will be of the full, adult-size variety.

- Soon to become Mrs Ashley Cole, the delightful (though decidedly chip shop) Cheryl Tweedy will presumably be in attendance at a football match near you very soon.

- Jose Mourinho may have promised to calm down but you know it won't happen.

- The shattering of the myth that 'no player is bigger than the club'. Step forward Messrs Yakubu and Viduka at Middlesbrough.

- We’ll find out how Tottenham intend to keep all those kids happy. An adventure playground is not likely to be a realistic, long-term solution.

- Dennis Bergkamp will be plying his trade for one more year. Enjoy him whilst you can.

- Xabi Alonso's passing – hopefully for a whole season this time.

- Thierry Henry's continued presence in the Premiership.

- Someone, somewhere saying of Newcastle's Emre: "Oooh, you are awful." (Younger readers should just swiftly move on at this point.)

- Wayne Rooney.

- The promised crackdown on swearing.

- The meeting of the last two points – the moment when Rooney learns that he can't call the referee a 'c***' just because he owns a whistle.

- Robbie Savage, Paul Dickov and Craig Bellamy in the same team? Fireworks, ladies and gentlemen, fireworks. Anyone fancy that Christmas party?

- The guarantee of at least 38 matches in which Stuart Pearce will provide a reasonable impression of a tap-dancer on speed on the touchline.

- Jose Mourinho and his red wine drinking bud, Sir Alex of Ferguson, ganging up to bully Arsene Wenger.

- Jonathan Woodgate to be fit for at least one game in the next 12 months. Can you remember what he looks like? Do his Real Madrid team-mates even know who he is?

- The prospect of Rio Ferdinand being booed by his own team's fans every week on account of him refusing to accept that £100,000 a week is a reasonable wage for any man. Even if he does only buy 'Taste The Difference' produce from Sainsbury's.

- Chelski playing at least two from Shaun Wright-Phillips, Arjen Robben, Joe Cole and Damien Duff.

- Scott Parker's return to playing football regularly. Perhaps we shall finally see why he was Young Player of the Year.

- Gordon Strachan's return to management.

- The amusement at noting that WGS's masterplan for making Celtic Scottish Premier League champions is buying a load of players from Southampton. Even funnier, it will probably be successful, too.

- The realisation that Arsenal are serious about playing in that claret shirt.

- Roy Keane's first meeting with Mick McCarthy since 'that' conversation. Expect to hear the words 'shove it up your bollix'.

- The fascination of comparing and contrasting Jermaine Jenas' £20m price tag with one of his actual performances.

- The fascination that will be life after Patrick Vieira at Arsenal.

- Steve McClaren's continued attempts to have an even redder face than Sir Alex.

- Graeme Souness' tirades against referees, opposition players and that nasty bitch Lady Luck.

- Peter Crouch playing for the European Cup holders just two years after he was deemed ‘not good enough’ for Villa. Once inconceivable, now a bizarre reality.

- The anticipation of Clive Tyldesley’s first mention of "that night in Istanbul".

- The latest chapter in the soap opera that is Newcastle United Football Club. Just how long will it be before they hit the front pages again? And will it be assault? Rape? Drugs? Terrorism?

- The fun the tabloids will enjoy with Chelski's Del Horno and Brum's Nafti.

- The return of the Sheffield derby to the fixture list.

- The continuous reminder, from watching Southampton in the Championship, that sometimes disloyalty does not pay. Know what we mean, 'Arry?

- Chelsea v Arsenal, August 21; ManYoo v Chelsea, November 6; Arsenal v Chelsea, December 18; Arsenal v ManYoo, January 3; ManYoo v Arsenal, April 9; Chelsea v ManYoo, April 30. Some matches are more equal than others…

- Taking the opportunity to prove to your mates that you know more about football than they do. Don’t you just love fantasy football?

- It's a World Cup year so the season will end with England being crowned World Champions in Germany. Possibly.