Green Bay Packer Fan Code of Ethics
>
> General:
>
> 1 Never take a beer to an interview.
>
> 2 Always identify people in your yard before shooting
> them.
>
> 3 It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
>
> 4 If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change
> the sheets.
>
> 5 Even if you're certain that you're included in the
> will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral.
>
> Dining Out:
>
> 1 When de-canting the wine from the box, make sure
> you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to
> "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
>
> 2 If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold
> it with your hands.
>
> Entertaining In Your Home:
>
> 1 A centerpiece for the table should never be
> anything prepared by a taxidermist.
>
> 2 Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter
> how good his manners are.
>
> Personal Hygiene:
>
> 1 While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job
> should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
>
> 2 Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of
> money.
>
> 3 Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for
> a few days.
>
> 4 Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social
> no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's
> jewelry, and alter the taste of finger foods.
>
> Dating (Outside the family):
>
> 1 Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially
> on the first date.
>
> 2 Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've
> been wanting to go out with you ever since I read
> that stuff on the bathroom walls two years ago."
>
> 3 Establish with her parents what time she is
> expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might
> say Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the
> man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
>
> Theater Etiquette:
>
> 1 Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and
> picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
>
> 2 Refrain from talking to the characters on the
> screen. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.
>
> Weddings:
>
> 1 Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding
> gift.
>
> 2 Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get
> you shot.
>
> 3 For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit
> with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create
> a tacky appearance.
>
> 4 Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes
> for this special occasion.
>
> Driving Etiquette:
>
> 1 Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even
> if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
>
> 2 When approaching a four way stops, the vehicle with
> the largest tires does not always have the right of
> way.
>
> 3 Never tow another car using panty hose and duct
> tape.
>
> 4 When sending your wife down the road with a gas
> can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
>
> 5 Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral
> possession.