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Post by fiordiligi on Mar 18, 2018 5:10:03 GMT -5
Don’t do anything please. You’ll get through this. Hold on, you are stronger than you think. Start running, physical activity can help a lot, it releases endorphins that’ll make you feel better. Day after day you’ll become stronger and faster and you’ll feel more confident with yourself and you’ll also look better physically, it’ll help a lot with the perception you have of yourself. It won’t be easy, but you can do it. Set goals you want to achieve and when you’ll get them you’ll feel proud of yourself. Try to eat healthier, more vegetables and fruits, food is extremely important on mood swings. Take a shower everyday, and if your room is messy tidy it up. If you can, get a pet, its unconditional love towards you will help you a lot, and a dog requires you to leave home, so you won’t be alone at home all the time. Northern Ireland doesn’t help to be honest. So if you can, maybe this summer, take a vacation in a sunny and warm place. Spain, Portugal, Italy or Croatia, Mediterranean countries not too expensive, where you can relax a bit under the sun, eat better and visit places you didn’t know. Talk with your family about your feelings, talk with your mom, she’ll help you I’m sure of it. Go out more with your brother and his friends. The hardest part is to let your family helps you. Remember it’s for your own good, and they love you, and you deserve their love, and they care for you, they really do, you’re not an inconvenience for them. You’re not worthless, you’re going trough a hard time but you’re not a failure, you need help but you’re not a loser for that. Even when you feel empty and alone, the truth is that you have a family that loves you and wants you to get better. You can do it my friend, you’ll get trough this, I believe in you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2018 5:17:32 GMT -5
I think you have done the right thing by blocking the girl, she seems to be messing with your head pal. I've known girls like that and they aren't worth the trouble, you will keep thinking about her but it will pass and you will meet someone better. Now you have to focus on yourself.
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Post by crisppacket on Mar 18, 2018 6:22:19 GMT -5
One of my best mates went through a similar situation. She was talking to this lad who she really liked and he seemed the same way. They would talk and Skype everyday, then after she met up with him he just became a complete dickhead to her for no reason which fucked with her head and affected her for quite a while. She was already going through a shit time, and that took her to the edge. Thankfully she didn't do anything stupid, (too stupid anyway), and she eventually got through it, but it took a lot of time before she did. It may seem like there is no end in sight but, as cliche as it is, time really is the best healer. Blocking this girl is a positive step, and talking to your brother and mam about it can only make things better so you don't have to bottle anything up.
Depression is fucking awful, and I know you can't help feeling this way. I don't know you, but I do know and believe you can get through this mate.
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Post by As You Built The Moon on Mar 18, 2018 13:48:49 GMT -5
Well, you can guess by me typing this that I haven't went through with anything. Not yet, anyway. Loads of this posts have touched my heart dearly, and I've cried reading loads of them. I'm just not in a good place, and I don't see how it's going to improve. Anyways, bit of an update: The girl messaged me for a few days there, wanting to know if I was alright, and still wanting me to come over to Scotland. She said she still thinks we could stand a chance someday. Well, after talking to her there for a few days, a bit of truth came out. Turns out she's been seeing the guy, and admitted that they had kissed. I've blocked her, blocked her number, and that's it. I don't think I could deal with anymore. I broke down and told my mum about the whole stuff, including what I'm typing next. I've been self-harming myself through razorblades and burning myself for a few days now. I also haven't been eating (lost 11 pounds in weight in 3 days), and I haven't been sleeping either. I just can't get her out of my head, and alongside that, my life is a mess. I'm just very alone. Me and my brother are planning on doing more things together though. I've removed all social media (not that I had many on it anyway due to being friendless), and basically have no reason to own a phone which I'm paying £40 a month for. I've started driving lessons though. Pretty terrifying, but I guess it gives me something to do. This just hurts a lot. Some part of me is still planning suicide, and my mum freaked out at that, and is booking me an appointment with the doctor right away. Not even a high dosage of antidepressants are taking any heat out. I don't know what to do. I'm up here, watching old episodes of game shows, in a state of tiredness, yet can't sleep. Because I can't get this out of my head. I can't do life anymore, not that I have one anyway. Thanks for everything though. You guys are literally amazing, and you all don't know how much you're worth and actually mean to me, especially Tom who I'm gutted I haven't heard from for a bit. *gives you a big hug and waits for you to let go first* If you’re embarrassed about learning how to drive at your age, don’t be. I was around your age when I got my driver’s license. I only had my overprotective aunt to supervise my driving when I had my learner’s permit, and I had to drag her through it kicking and screaming. It was hysterical, but driving meant everything to me and I pushed until I finally made it. I was anxious about driving too. Stay in your lane, always do your checks before turning the wheel, and watch the car in front of you. The rest of what you learn is still important, but if you focus on those things first, your anxiety will dissipate and the rest will come easier. Never drive when you’re too emotional; it’s a distraction. Be ready to get honked at and called names when you're new to driving and you make a mistake or the other driver is just an asshole. I worry about someone doing that to you and you taking it too hard. I didn’t know whether to say anything, but I agreed with the person who said the girl you were with didn’t come off well in your own story, even though it seems you tried to make her look blameless. You did the right thing shutting her out, but I’m sorry you had to do that. I don’t know if this makes you feel any better, but I’ve been getting my own heart broken looking for someone on the dating websites over the past few months. Shallow women, fake profiles set up by scammers, too many women my age who are single moms. Give an honest answer to the wrong question and they stop talking to you. It’s tough. That’s why I’ve decided to step away for a while and focus on putting together a new circle of friends, because I need that support when it’s not going so well with the ladies. It sounds like you should do the same. There’s a lot of talk now about how hard it is for women, and I’m not trying to discredit that, but the unblemished truth is that both genders are terrible and we’re just a terrible species generally. Neither gender is innocent. I think praying mantises treat their partners better than we do. Just try to find guy friends and friends who happen to be female for now. We’re here, but we can’t all be with you in your living room or take you out to lunch. You need people you can talk to in the flesh. Maybe not about all this, but even talking to them about trivial issues would be healthy for you. Maybe there’s even some people at work who would like to get to know you better? Don’t give up having a phone. You shouldn’t have to pay £40 a month. I don’t know what’s available in your area, but in the US we have plans from smaller carriers that only charge $20 or less for basic service with little or no data and you can add space as you go. You’ll want a phone for when you’re ready to start socializing and at the very least it will become a necessity for GPS or to call someone when you have your driver’s license and you get lost or your car breaks down (I know I did. In Detroit, no less.) I wish I knew what to say about the self harm. When I was your age and unemployed with nothing but time on my hands, I used to hit myself. Not because I was depressed or suicidal, but because I was full of rage at people who had wronged me. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do to them because of the consequences it would have involved, and I couldn’t take it out on anyone else, but it felt like someone had to answer for those wrongs, so, I hit myself. Lucky for me I couldn’t hit worth a damn and I never really got myself injured. All I know to say is that you need to find some other outlet for those feelings that doesn’t bring you physical harm. There has to be something. At least find an additional part time job or take up something where you’re too busy to dwell on those feelings. You mentioned that driving is helping you; that’s wonderful. Find more projects like that. I work full time and I’m always looking for work on the side, firstly because I need the money, but as a side benefit I simply don’t have time to dwell on things I shouldn’t be thinking about. About sitting in your room watching old shows, boy have I been there. I’d zone in on something and watch it obsessively. Not because it was that good or even to fill in time, but because it insulated me from my own thoughts. I didn’t even care how many times I’d watched it before, I just wanted to hear voices in the room so I’d feel like I had company. I won’t tell you to stop doing that, because maybe that’s what you need for right now, after this breakup. Like I said, indulge yourself and take all the time you need. And don't feel too bad about it, because guess what's popular now? Binge watching tv shows. Throwing the day away and watching a whole season in one sitting, maybe with one other person in the room if you're lucky. People aren't as connected to each other personally as they used to be, and a lot of us are getting lonely. It's not just you. But, please remember that these are distractions and they can’t change or solve anything. There’s a purpose for them, definitely, but it’s only for keeping you occupied while you aren’t being productive. You need something real. You need to be involved in something that has its own set of concerns and keeps your life moving. Just focusing on passive entertainment always leads you back to square one, wondering why nothing’s changed. That’s what I’m working on myself. I recently signed up an account at Meetup.com and when the weather gets nicer I want to start getting out to the local events that are posted on there. I want to meet people who share my interests and find projects to work on with them. Not only will that keep me occupied, but it will make my old problems and dramas seem more distant because I’ll have invested myself in these new people. Please do the same for yourself. It is hard putting yourself out there and trying to go from being total strangers with people to acquaintances and then friends, but you’ve got to do it. I’ve got to do it. No one’s gonna do it for us. My messages are this long because I can’t help but see myself in you a great deal. My early twenties probably even outrank my early teens as the worst time in my life. I want you to just look forward. Don’t stop and get discouraged by what’s going on around you, just keep looking straight ahead and move forward. Don’t hurt yourself, please. Keep coming here so we know you’re ok.
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Post by dyinglight94 on Mar 18, 2018 16:15:12 GMT -5
Update: It's all over. I've cut her off completely. I rang her, and completely laid out at her over the phone. She was texting me saying that she still loved me, and wanted to be friends. I told her that although I'm a clinically depressed friendless hermit, I'm no one's second best, or substitute. I think she lost it when I said that, and she blocked me on all social media, and I done the same. I've deleted her number, pictures, and everything. I'm done, and I strangely feel positive from this all. No doubt this'll disappear after an hour and I'll cry again, but hey, it's for the best.
The other night, she said the distance was the problem. When I offered to do a college course in Scotland which meant I'd move in about 4-5 months with the help of a student loan, she suddenly backed off and said 'I'm not happy anymore'. Fuck her. I called her a cheat, and to not come calling back.
I doubt I'll ever meet anyone else. I mean, look at my life. Look at me. BUT I feel a bit free. I really do now. Thanks everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2018 16:25:37 GMT -5
Update: It's all over. I've cut her off completely. I rang her, and completely laid out at her over the phone. She was texting me saying that she still loved me, and wanted to be friends. I told her that although I'm a clinically depressed friendless hermit, I'm no one's second best, or substitute. I think she lost it when I said that, and she blocked me on all social media, and I done the same. I've deleted her number, pictures, and everything. I'm done, and I strangely feel positive from this all. No doubt this'll disappear after an hour and I'll cry again, but hey, it's for the best. The other night, she said the distance was the problem. When I offered to do a college course in Scotland which meant I'd move in about 4-5 months with the help of a student loan, she suddenly backed off and said 'I'm not happy anymore'. Fuck her. I called her a cheat, and to not come calling back. I doubt I'll ever meet anyone else. I mean, look at my life. Look at me. BUT I feel a bit free. I really do now. Thanks everyone. That was the right thing to do! It might feel harsh at first, both to you and the girl, but it will help you to get over her. There's nothing worse than keeping your hopes up for nothing. It's mentally draining.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2018 16:32:53 GMT -5
Update: It's all over. I've cut her off completely. I rang her, and completely laid out at her over the phone. She was texting me saying that she still loved me, and wanted to be friends. I told her that although I'm a clinically depressed friendless hermit, I'm no one's second best, or substitute. I think she lost it when I said that, and she blocked me on all social media, and I done the same. I've deleted her number, pictures, and everything. I'm done, and I strangely feel positive from this all. No doubt this'll disappear after an hour and I'll cry again, but hey, it's for the best. The other night, she said the distance was the problem. When I offered to do a college course in Scotland which meant I'd move in about 4-5 months with the help of a student loan, she suddenly backed off and said 'I'm not happy anymore'. Fuck her. I called her a cheat, and to not come calling back. I doubt I'll ever meet anyone else. I mean, look at my life. Look at me. BUT I feel a bit free. I really do now. Thanks everyone. Definitely the right thing to do. Set your expectations sky high and accept nothing less. You can be a nice person but still tell people to go fuck themselves when needed.
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Post by As You Built The Moon on Mar 18, 2018 21:19:28 GMT -5
Update: It's all over. I've cut her off completely. I rang her, and completely laid out at her over the phone. She was texting me saying that she still loved me, and wanted to be friends. I told her that although I'm a clinically depressed friendless hermit, I'm no one's second best, or substitute. I think she lost it when I said that, and she blocked me on all social media, and I done the same. I've deleted her number, pictures, and everything. I'm done, and I strangely feel positive from this all. No doubt this'll disappear after an hour and I'll cry again, but hey, it's for the best. The other night, she said the distance was the problem. When I offered to do a college course in Scotland which meant I'd move in about 4-5 months with the help of a student loan, she suddenly backed off and said 'I'm not happy anymore'. Fuck her. I called her a cheat, and to not come calling back. I doubt I'll ever meet anyone else. I mean, look at my life. Look at me. BUT I feel a bit free. I really do now. Thanks everyone. It's good that you had enough self respect not to let her play around with you like that. I really hope you get better. Take care.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2018 17:20:47 GMT -5
Hope you're feeling better mate
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Post by dyinglight94 on Mar 25, 2018 18:36:56 GMT -5
Well, I'm really feeling the effects tonight. She sent me a tweet from a separate account to say she's taken things further with the guy. I'm beyond heartbroken. Whether this was to hurt me or not, I dunno. Maybe I'm just better off alone. I've cried, smoked about five cigarettes in a row, and done more crying. What can you do though? She dumped me first chance she got, and goodbye Luke. I clearly didn't mean much. I guess I wouldn't give a shite about me either.
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Post by Manualex on Mar 25, 2018 19:42:46 GMT -5
Well, I'm really feeling the effects tonight. She sent me a tweet from a separate account to say she's taken things further with the guy. I'm beyond heartbroken. Whether this was to hurt me or not, I dunno. Maybe I'm just better off alone. I've cried, smoked about five cigarettes in a row, and done more crying. What can you do though? She dumped me first chance she got, and goodbye Luke. I clearly didn't mean much. I guess I wouldn't give a shite about me either. It could be true, it could be not. People are mean sometimes, and she's a piece of shit to be fair. You win because you dont have to be near that POS again. Actually, saying POS is a compliment to her and a insult to shit. What a petty way to act. You deserve better.
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Post by mystoryisgory on Mar 25, 2018 23:19:10 GMT -5
Well, I'm really feeling the effects tonight. She sent me a tweet from a separate account to say she's taken things further with the guy. I'm beyond heartbroken. Whether this was to hurt me or not, I dunno. Maybe I'm just better off alone. I've cried, smoked about five cigarettes in a row, and done more crying. What can you do though? She dumped me first chance she got, and goodbye Luke. I clearly didn't mean much. I guess I wouldn't give a shite about me either. Hey dyinglight. I know you must feel terrible. But don't ever fall into the trap of thinking that how people treat you reflects something about you. Because it doesn't. How someone treats you is a reflection of them, and them only. And if she's going to deliberately antagonize you by flaunting how she's gotten closer to the guy she cheated on you with, then that makes her out to be the terrible person, not you. A decent person would not do this to you. It doesn't matter how badly you think of yourself, a good person will still treat you like you deserve.
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Post by dyinglight94 on Apr 20, 2020 9:21:51 GMT -5
Hey all. Long time, no log-in haha. I'll probably update this in time, but I hope everyone is doing well out there as it's scary times for all of us. I hope tomlivesforever is doing cool too.
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Post by megyesitomate on Apr 20, 2020 10:24:55 GMT -5
Hey all. Long time, no log-in haha. I'll probably update this in time, but I hope everyone is doing well out there as it's scary times for all of us. I hope tomlivesforever is doing cool too. It's really nice to see you here again. I've just read you post for the first time. I sincerely hope that things are going better for you nowadays. Wishing you all the happiness!!!
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smash
Oasis Roadie
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Post by smash on Apr 20, 2020 19:53:05 GMT -5
About a month ago I checked to see if you had any updates so glad to see the post. I'm interested in hearing more. Take care.
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Post by mimmihopps on Apr 21, 2020 3:10:05 GMT -5
Good to see you again, dyinglight94. Take care and keep us updated.
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