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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 15:01:46 GMT -5
Things That Shouldn't Be Said In Modern Society To Be Said At Least 1,400 Times At RNC TAMPA, FL—According to numerous sociologists and political experts, things that should never under any circumstance be spoken aloud in modern society will be said no fewer than 1,400 times this week at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, FL. Throughout the three-day event, as the GOP unveils its 2012 platform and formally nominates its presidential ticket, experts predict words and phrases pertaining to science, health, and justice that are entirely unbefitting 21st-century human civilization will, on average, be voiced every 40 seconds from the podium at the Tampa Bay Times Forum. According to alarming projections, the number of jarringly anachronistic remarks about gender alone will easily number in the hundreds. “As the convention kicks off Tuesday with speeches from the likes of Rick Santorum and Nikki Haley, we should prepare ourselves to hear a more-or-less unending stream of ideas that should never even enter one’s mind, let alone be verbalized, in this day and age,” said Elizabeth Unger, a political scientist at Georgetown University. “It’s difficult to comprehend, but dozens of comments on such topics as human relationships and the physical world itself—which will seem as if they were crafted by some primitive unthinking civilization that existed centuries ago—will actually be emphasized, repeated, and used to punctuate key points in every single speech.” “And what’s more baffling is that speakers will receive legitimate applause for saying things in public that no reasonable, informed L4E Member of society would ever willingly say in private,” she continued. “In fact, the more monstrous and archaic the thing sounds, the more ardent the ovation will be.” Unger said the broad range of antiquated and inappropriate things that will be articulated each night on live television will not, as one might suspect, be blurted out by accident, as an involuntary reflex, or from momentary lack of forethought. While she acknowledged that such remarks would defy all contemporary definitions of logic and propriety, Unger confirmed they would actually be written down, organized, and rehearsed in advance, as if they in fact represented the speakers’ fully formed opinions and deeply held convictions on those particular issues. “What’s fascinating is that these things, which will be spoken against all sense of contemporary decency and rational judgment, will not be the rantings of degenerates or imbeciles,” said Erik Olin Wright, president of the American Sociological Association. “Rather, they’ll be voiced by well-known political figures, distinguished business leaders, and top minds of national conservative movements—dozens of outwardly functional, ordinary people who for some reason appear eager to vocalize bizarrely backward-looking ideologies that no right-thinking modern human being would ever fathom giving voice to.” “It’s almost as if these people are unaware that the Enlightenment, the scientific revolution, various civil rights movements, and the entirety of social progress over the previous several centuries even occurred,” Wright added. Scholars also affirmed that sentiments relating to economic opportunity, natural resources, and human culture that should never exit a person’s mouth would in fact be chanted in unison throughout the convention, easily bringing the total count of grossly inappropriate utterances into the hundreds of thousands. According to the vast majority of experts contacted, such bizarrely out-of-date concepts, if ever fully acted upon, would nullify scores of generations of human advancement. “If this gathering were held in the 1700s or 1800s, a certain fraction of the comments they will make on issues like religion and commerce might be considered somewhat appropriate by people of the time,” anthropologist Gregory Switzer said. “But much of what is said at the RNC about fairness and the treatment of fellow human beings in need, for example, is far more consistent with the very beginnings of rudimentary social empathy in our species dating back to the earliest emergence of human civilization some 10,000 years ago, when our barely developed ancient ancestors would literally smash each other’s skulls in with large rocks without a care or second thought.” In stark contrast, scholars noted, several hundred things that desperately needed to be said in modern society would be uttered throughout next week’s Democratic National Convention by gutless speakers who would not possess anything remotely close to the strength or resolve needed to act on them. www.theonion.com/articles/things-that-shouldnt-be-said-in-modern-society-to,29336/
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Post by caro on Aug 27, 2012 15:13:01 GMT -5
good ole onion..
one thing they should abstain from talking about is abortion, somehow they always end up sounding like retarded morons...
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 15:17:42 GMT -5
good ole onion.. one thing they should abstain from talking about is abortion, somehow they always end up sounding like retarded morons... i think that's the effect they're going for. ...just saying.
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Post by caro on Aug 27, 2012 15:36:54 GMT -5
meh, us politics frustrate me.. Not that there are any non frustrating political scenes but I just can't seem to find a good place for my non existent right to vote!
I mean one day i will vote and where will that go?!
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 15:52:26 GMT -5
meh, us politics frustrate me.. Not that there are any non frustrating political scenes but I just can't seem to find a good place for my non existent right to vote! I mean one day i will vote and where will that go?! you aren't missing much. i voted once, it wasn't that exciting. good things.
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Post by caro on Aug 27, 2012 15:53:26 GMT -5
yeah that makes for a non exciting president I like voting
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 16:06:12 GMT -5
yeah that makes for a non exciting president I like voting are you a u.s. citizen yet? God bless.
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Post by caro on Aug 27, 2012 16:18:07 GMT -5
nope, technically I could, but I don't feel like spending $800 just yet.
I guess I would be better off being illegal, then Obama would give me everything for free
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 16:20:49 GMT -5
nope, technically I could, but I don't feel like spending $800 just yet. I guess I would be better off being illegal, then Obama would give me everything for free $800? that's ridiculous. bad things.
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Post by caro on Aug 27, 2012 16:24:08 GMT -5
nope, technically I could, but I don't feel like spending $800 just yet. I guess I would be better off being illegal, then Obama would give me everything for free $800? that's ridiculous. bad things. it is probably different now. That was a few years back... And that's nothing compared to visa application fees added to green cardS cost... The first one was a two years one and now I have a ten years one... it's very spendy!
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Post by Beady’s Here Now on Aug 27, 2012 18:19:48 GMT -5
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Post by nataliemckinney on Aug 27, 2012 19:18:46 GMT -5
What's with this L4E Member reference:
“And what’s more baffling is that speakers will receive legitimate applause for saying things in public that no reasonable, informed L4E Member of society would ever willingly say in private,” she continued. “In fact, the more monstrous and archaic the thing sounds, the more ardent the ovation will be.”
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 19:32:47 GMT -5
What's with this L4E Member reference: “And what’s more baffling is that speakers will receive legitimate applause for saying things in public that no reasonable, informed L4E Member of society would ever willingly say in private,” she continued. “In fact, the more monstrous and archaic the thing sounds, the more ardent the ovation will be.” i didn't put that in there and it's not in the original article. maybe webm@ster auto-functions in to posts or maybe it's magic. NL4E, what does it say when a person takes the time to explain why they aren't racist and puts that much thought and effort into it? think about it.
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Post by nataliemckinney on Aug 27, 2012 21:04:53 GMT -5
It's probably magic. That's the most reasonable explanation.
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Post by Beady’s Here Now on Aug 27, 2012 21:21:54 GMT -5
What's with this L4E Member reference: “And what’s more baffling is that speakers will receive legitimate applause for saying things in public that no reasonable, informed L4E Member of society would ever willingly say in private,” she continued. “In fact, the more monstrous and archaic the thing sounds, the more ardent the ovation will be.” i didn't put that in there and it's not in the original article. maybe webm@ster auto-functions in to posts or maybe it's magic. NL4E, what does it say when a person takes the time to explain why they aren't racist and puts that much thought and effort into it? think about it. So if someone is wrongfully charged with any sort of crime, you think his massive effort in trying to clear his name actually implies guilt?
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 21:32:02 GMT -5
i didn't put that in there and it's not in the original article. maybe webm@ster auto-functions in to posts or maybe it's magic. NL4E, what does it say when a person takes the time to explain why they aren't racist and puts that much thought and effort into it? think about it. So if someone is wrongfully charged with any sort of crime, you think his massive effort in trying to clear his name actually implies guilt? why does he have to justify he isn't racist to begin with? i personally don't go around explaining, and in detail, everything i'm not. God bless.
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Post by Beady’s Here Now on Aug 27, 2012 21:41:13 GMT -5
So if someone is wrongfully charged with any sort of crime, you think his massive effort in trying to clear his name actually implies guilt? why does he have to justify he isn't racist to begin with? i personally don't go around explaining, and in detail, everything i'm not. God bless. Because it's a clear misnomer..... Why do liberals spend all their efforts in saying Obama isn't a socialist? Same concept.
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Post by Let It Bleed on Aug 27, 2012 21:46:27 GMT -5
why does he have to justify he isn't racist to begin with? i personally don't go around explaining, and in detail, everything i'm not. God bless. Because it's a clear misnomer..... Why do liberals spend all their efforts in saying Obama isn't a socialist? Same concept. i don't know. like i said, i don't go around justifying everything i'm not. mainly because i don't feel there's a need. God bless.
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Post by masterplan200 on Oct 6, 2012 11:38:34 GMT -5
Member
hmm
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Post by manny on Oct 6, 2012 11:40:08 GMT -5
"Laws are like woman, are there to be raped" Actual quote from a spanish politician...
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