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Post by importantlyidle on May 19, 2008 15:24:53 GMT -5
I live in deepest darkest Bulgaria confined to life as a man-fairy, I have real bat wings, Cricket on the left, Baseball on the right. It's a horrible life, exposed to bad cheese and penile glue. It used to make me happy, until I realized there was more to life than running through cornfields semi naked (bottom half) and rodent abuse.
My other half, kettle, told me about the amazing things that are out there, and I want to see them, she told me about the various things, such as bus stops and traffic lights. I want to see these. I have been longing to do cart wheels waiting for the number 69 for a whole 7 minutes and 23 seconds now.
My job doesn't allow it though. I have to frighten random old people and beat them to a semi conscious state of dog death, with only the use of a chopstick, Mars bars and Romanian orphans.
How I'd love to splurge people with my man Mayonnaise at a Lily Allen concert, as she does an acoustic cover version of
Robbie William's brilliant number 4 hit "Rudebox".
Sadly I will never experience such pleasure and I am doomed to eating choirboys and vicars in sick orgies with Micheal Bolton and Latin love god,Ricky Martin. I think Ricky goes too far sometimes, as I don't think ironing boards were invented for oral/anal penetration, but he insists, besides it keeps him away from slapping the pregnant crack whores that provide most of his income these days.
Anyway thanks for listening. I love you all xxxx
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Post by llamallamallama on May 19, 2008 16:45:07 GMT -5
I have never seen Basil the llama's willy, but my horses whip theirs out all the time.
llama milk tastes a bit like boobie milk but with fewer lumps.
Is Bulgaria where the trouser bulges cum from?
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Post by checkwithmemum on May 19, 2008 16:46:06 GMT -5
ive me your details, I want to sponsor you, I want to give my life to you in the form of a dollar a day so that you can see traffic lights.
you spoke of honey, i once spilt honey all over me it took six hours but once those long lonely hours had past it was the most pleasurable experience of my life, all though i have not been probed i was eating a mars bar in the shower and then slipped over. Guess what came next... me.
are you a squirrel? I love squirrels i am one and will be tomorrow but the day after that is shady. HUG ME I'M A SQUIRREL
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Post by llamallamallama on May 19, 2008 16:58:38 GMT -5
ive me your details, I want to sponsor you, I want to give my life to you in the form of a dollar a day so that you can see traffic lights. you spoke of honey, i once spilt honey all over me it took six hours but once those long lonely hours had past it was the most pleasurable experience of my life, all though i have not been probed i was eating a mars bar in the shower and then slipped over. Guess what came next... me. are you a squirrel? I love squirrels i am one and will be tomorrow but the day after that is shady. HUG ME I'M A SQUIRREL I'll hug you squirrel!! I'm a llama. |
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Post by checkwithmemum on May 19, 2008 17:14:32 GMT -5
llama love.
I wrote a song about llama love I hope you can hear it. It must be listened to with the mouth and not with the ears. my song is in my pants.
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kirsten
Madferrit Fan
Tongueless Ghost of Sin
Posts: 58
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Post by kirsten on May 19, 2008 18:40:37 GMT -5
People just don't understand the beauty of llamas. They have that lovely fur that’s full of pills, and those lovely teeth that remind me of my first boyfriend, he was from Chile. Do you know why llamas are cool? They mate lying down, and they can also do it for 20-45 minutes. That’s longer than any guy I know. The only problem with llamas is that they don’t have very long tongues.
I agree with this "checkwithmemum" character, give us your details so we can sponsor you, you poor being. I'd be glad to send you whatever you need, you can even put your requests in here.
Also, trouser bulges didn't come from Bulgaria, it's well known that they don't really have large penises there. It came from a little Asian island known as Japan. In Japanese, "bulge" really means... Well, you can put two and two together.
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Post by alwaysnow on May 19, 2008 18:52:52 GMT -5
I've always fully supported alpacas, llamas seem dull because of their Jacksonville Jaguars helmets. You seem like a cool geezer, though, I wouldn't mind covering my virginal body with your woolly skin in Sasketchawan, listening to Vanilla Ice sing his Ninja, Ninja Rap, just like I'm doing right now. Try not to bathe me in your bodily milk, though, I tend to have dreams of wallpapers when that happens, and I puke confetti, not a pleasant experience by any means. Anyway, let's not draw conclusions here, "gullivera" people said in that ancient film, and I think that's the best philosophy we could actually put in practice here, you know, for the sake of Alfonso Freeman (Morgan Freeman's son, in case you were wondering). We all know you love Queensryche  but squirrels are little furry animals, hence they produce one of the finest perfumes in the whole world. I can't understand the name, since I don't speak squirrelish but I can assure you the scent is something beyond any barriers of the imagination. |
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Post by webm@ster on May 19, 2008 20:50:52 GMT -5
importantlyidle, Hi
I have a special deal for all my members from the former Eastern Block. It's just $55 to sign up for a secret board not visible to any Westerners on this forum. Igor has been waiting impatiently for sign ups, his dial up package " Gogoquick" from the O‘zbekiston Respublikasi postal service only works between the hours of 2pm and 214pm. Let me email you my Paypal so you won't miss another exciting moment.......
cheers
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Post by checkwithmemum on May 22, 2008 3:21:26 GMT -5
Mr. importantlyidle, are you stuck in your cave, is it warm, did you get the rug?
Its cold hear I need a hug?
My hair needs cleaning, which reminds me of a time I did wash it, no wait I paid a poor man 8 cents to wash it for me, can you believe I didn't even get a reach around from it. I FUCKING PAID 8 CENTS, its bullshit.
I'm a needy person, hold me.....
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Post by thebluemeaniee on Jun 4, 2008 16:16:06 GMT -5
hi and welcome!hey guys quite following me ya stalkers  . |
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Post by checkwithmemum on Jun 4, 2008 20:23:23 GMT -5
^ will you nurture and care for me blue man?
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Post by Officer Jim Kurring on Jun 8, 2008 12:38:23 GMT -5
I love gold.
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Post by thebluemeaniee on Jun 10, 2008 8:16:42 GMT -5
mum ya kow i'm a woman says like a mom pissed off>samuel matthew!!!i dont know who could or would care for pete he's very twisted  .lol |
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Post by MEANSTREAK on Jun 10, 2008 12:22:00 GMT -5
wow, there are some real weirdo's on this site  |
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Post by thebluemeaniee on Jun 12, 2008 18:22:19 GMT -5
pete's just one of them as you soon will find out ;D.
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Post by checkwithmemum on Jun 13, 2008 4:13:22 GMT -5
mum ya kow i'm a woman says like a mom pissed off>samuel matthew!!!i dont know who could or would care for pete he's very twisted .lol blue lady has a blue rolly face. I'm excited.  |
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Post by alwaysnow on Jun 13, 2008 9:35:06 GMT -5
^ Please don't, if I were a fluffy squirrel like you, I'd rather be excited about the rolling moai in the shape of a humongous phallus that's located in the Eastern Easter Island, I bet he can nurture you with his milk of wisdom and then you can see the enlightment while the godlike white stream flows through your whole furry body full of chestnuts.
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Post by thebluemeaniee on Jun 24, 2008 16:27:09 GMT -5
grabs the two of you and smacks your heads together!quite acting like bints!!
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Post by ebuywow on Jul 3, 2008 22:53:59 GMT -5
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but squirrels are little furry animals, hence they produce one of the finest perfumes in the whole world. I can't understand the name, since I don't speak squirrelish but I can assure you the scent is something beyond any barriers of the imagination.
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Nov 4, 2024 5:04:30 GMT -5