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Post by webm@ster on Oct 21, 2006 19:24:23 GMT -5
www.theage.com.au/news/sport/leaping-larrys-letterbox/2006/10/20/1160851139137.htmlBOZO OF THE WEEK FINALLY, living shrunken-head Noel Gallagher wins an award on pure merit — this one. Letting Noel Gallagher speak in public about the Socceroos, Tim Cahill or anything to do with the sport is a lot like polling Vatican officials on their all-time favourite letters to "Penthouse" Forum. Actually, Noel Gallagher talking about music is a lot like that, too New mensa candidate IT WAS interesting to read the opinions of ageing, dyspeptic ventriloquist's dummy Noel Gallagher on the Australian soccer team. No, not interesting — what's that other "i" word — oh, yes, imbecilic. "Football is the game of the intelligentsia and you are shit at it," opined Noel, who after years of deep study of David Beckham interviews, apparently has no problem identifying his fellow "intelligentsia", and also has mastered a lovely turn of phrase. And apparently, the ego of the man knows no bounds. In the photo accompanying the article I saw, Mr Gallagher had the number 22 visible on the inevitable polo shirt. What sort of person would seek to intimidate his fellow rock "intelligentsia" by so brazenly displaying his IQ on his clothing? Doug Fieger, Dromana Lickety-splat EXCELLENT work by the AFL in ensuring that every single match played involving a Victorian team will be covered by a radio broadcast in Melbourne from next season. No wonder they're so cock-a-hoop about it. The fully national-format league has been going for well under 50 years, and they've already worked that one out. Given indistinct previous efforts, I'm amazed they broke the even century. AFL chief operating officer Ben Buckley claimed that this area was "the highest priority for the AFL". Lucky the AFL boffins aren't in charge of the treasury, and making that their "highest priority" or we'd still be waiting for decimal currency to kick in. Ricky Fataar, Ashburton Pots, kettles, old crocks WIZENED, malevolent ground-nut, Noel Gallagher excreted an opinion that Australia and Everton's Tim Cahill had a "really slappable face". You'd think someone would be more circumspect about citing the supposed shortcomings of other people's personal appearances, when they looked like something that had just fallen out of somebody's nose themselves. Rick Neilsen, Corio "Stryper" already taken RANTING, bile-spitting, half-hobbit Noel "Talent" Gallagher — well known within the length and breadth of his own boys' department trousers as a member of "the intelligentsia", apparently — has also criticised the Socceroos on another basis. "Do me a f---ing favour," he intellectualised, "you could have come up with a better nickname than that." We're expected to take this from a refugee from a rusty charm bracelet whose band was called — "Oasis"?! What was that — the last prototypical, early '70s, keyboard-oriented, cod-mystic, pretend-Middle-Eastern, vintage progressive rock style band-name left in the barrel? First Camel, then Caravan, and finally Oasis. Even "The Baader-Meinhof Group" would have been a better name. Hell, MEDICINE HEAD had a better name. And it's a great shame that one was taken because, even taken purely as a facial description, Medicine Head really suits the Gallagher brothers. Eric Carmen, Craigieburn Mistaken posterity I REFUSE to accept any more of this morning's letters column's undermining of one of the great musical talents of the last five decades of rock, which I was just reading on the train. I don't care what he said about Australians or their sports teams, nothing excuses this level of ignorance and blinkered philistinism concerning this guitar great, and mighty composer, performer and recording artist. Hang on. I've just had a closer read back of the other letters. Sorry, I thought they were talking about RORY Gallagher. Well, I don't give a toss about this other bloke. Carry on then. John Woloschuk, Gladstone Park Ready to rumbaaaaaalll RANCOROUS miniature barley monkey Noel Gallagher contends that, regarding Socceroos midfielder Tim Cahill, he would "like to kick him in the bollocks". Please, if there is a loving, benevolent God in the mighty heavens above, who has the slightest care for humans in our tiny terrestrial strugglings, then grant one simple wish — that ALL the people the Gallagher brothers have ever talked ludicrous twaddle about giving a physical beating to, all get a fair shot at them, in a row, on pay-per-view television, may the good Lord have mercy and grant us grace and a mate with cable. Alternatively, healing over that nasty septic gash under Noel Gallagher's nose ought to do the trick. It's not like we're asking for the Red Sea to be re-parted. Pete Ham, Sunbury
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Post by masterplan200 on Oct 21, 2006 19:42:46 GMT -5
I thought the Sydney one was good as well:
« This unsporting life | Main
TALKBACK
marissa wrote:
I'm sorry, has Noel Gallagher ever said anything nice about anyone ever? (Not counting 'nice tits luv' and similar.) Why should this be a surprise? Or note-worthy in any way? ... [more]
Killer Bees wrote:
I think the Gallagher brothers should both just shut the hell up for all eternity. They're rudeness and bad manners don't make you "alternative" or "hip", they just make you loo ... [more]
actonb wrote:
You didn't comment on the most telling fact in this story. He's a fan of Man City. Says it all really. ... [more]
Blondie wrote:
Just another aging rock star desperate for attention. Tho' I agree with the stupid nickname tag. Socceroos- what's that all about? As for the game- World Cup is wonderful- but ... [more]
[ more (5) | new post ]
Shut up for the Socceroos
October 20, 2006
Noel Gallagher 175935MLook, I haven't always been huge on the Socceroos. Mark Viduka, for instance, becomes worse than useless whenever he dons an Australian uniform. But none of us should stand by while our team, who performed so well in Germany, nearly beating the then world champs and fully deserving to beat the mob that went on to win the thing, is abused by Noel Gallagher, the man who is responsible for 'Whatever'.
I used to love Oasis. I bought Definitely Maybe on a trip to the UK right after doing the HSC, and it became an instant favourite. 'Supersonic' and 'Live Forever' are great songs. But then the band faded into cocaine-fuelled, self-indulgent Beatles pastiche with its second album, What's The Story (Morning Glory), and has then spent the following decade trying to recapture the 'magic' of that bygone era – which seems far from magic ten years later.
In short, they're a bunch of has-beens (and no, I don't care that their last album was hailed as a return to form – it was a return to the era when they were slightly less crap than they have been for the past decade), and Noel Gallagher, one of the most self-indulgent musical hacks on the planet, who's been in trouble countless times for plagiarising rock classics and saying moronically arrogant things about his joke of a band, has no place criticising anyone.
Let's look at Gallagher's specific allegations against our boys in green and gold, then, shall we?
"Football is the game of the intelligentsia and you are shit at it."
Intelligentsia? Not if Noel Gallagher's a big football fan, surely.
And we are objectively not "shit" at it, at least at the moment. At the World Cup, after performing creditably against Japan, Asia's top team; Brazil, the #1-ranked team in the world; and Croatia, we made the final 16. We were unlucky not to beat Italy, and based on their game would have smashed Ukraine, meaning we probably would have made the semis without that famous Italian dive.
Then there was that 3-1 victory over England in 2003. Perhaps we should send him the DVD?
"You will never win anything so give it up."
Excuse me, Mr Gallagher, but we've won 4 out of the 7 Oceania Nations Cups since 1973. Okay, so it's world football's weakest region by far, so that number is actually embarrassing because it should have been 7. But we do win "anything".
Besides, England haven't even reached the final of a major tournament since 1966. The Socceroos impressed far more commentators than the overpaid, disappointing England squad did in Germany. And we're a strong contender for next year's Asian Cup, having qualified first.
"I don't know, there is something about [Tim Cahill]. I would love to kick him right in the bollocks."
I'd love to kick Noel Gallagher in the head, but that doesn't make him a bad musician. (It's his songs that do that.) Cahill is one of the top 50 players in Europe, based on his recent Ballon d'Or nomination. Look at the amazing goal he scored on the weekend, if you want to know why.
"Don't you find [Cahill's] face really slapable? I can assure you, lots of people in England do."
Given his own altercations with brother Liam, I can only imagine that wanting to get into a fight with Cahill actually means that Gallagher wants to form a best-selling but ultimately rubbish band with him.
"Socceroos ... Do me a f---ing favour, you could come up with a better nickname than that"
OK, fair point.
And what of Oasis' own work? Not only are their songs generally turgid, dull and simplistic, but over the years, Oasis have produced some of the poorest lyrics in pop music history. I've always despised the lyrics of 'Wonderwall' – check the subtle variations here:
Verse 1
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
Verse 2
Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
Oh, how cleverly he turned that around! Then there's 'D'you Know What I Mean?', with its extremely inventive chorus:
All my people right here, right now
D'You Know What I Mean?
All my people right here, right now
D'You Know What I Mean?
All my people right here, right now
D'You Know What I Mean?
Yeah, yeah
But this is still better than when the band tries to get poetic, as in the verse lyrics:
I don't really care for what you believe
So open up your fist or you won't receive
The thoughts and the words of every man you'll need
Get up off the floor and believe in life
No-one's ever gonna ever ask you twice
Get on the bus and bring it on home to me
Finally, let's look at a single off their last album, 'Lyla' – one lazy syllable different from 'Layla', of course. (Listen here, it's awful):
She believes in everything
And everyone and you and yours and mine
I’ve waited for a thousand years
For you to come and blow me out my mind
Hey, Lyla
The stars are about to fall
So what d'you say, Lyla
The world around us makes me feel so small, Lyla
If you can't hear me call then I can say, Lyla
Heaven'll help you catch me if I fall
All I can say is that even if the Socceroos are "@#*!", as the SMH put it, Oasis are a great deal @#*!tter.
Dominic Knight
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2006 19:42:52 GMT -5
 genius job done as far as noel is concern, and if they really consider his opinion as worthless why do they comment about it ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2006 19:47:24 GMT -5
I don't understand what the hell this is all about. Soccer? OH MY FUCKIN GOSH YOU INSULTED MY SOCCER TEAM YOU FUCKIN POOPIE HEAD *Kills self*  |
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Post by Mogly on Oct 21, 2006 21:16:24 GMT -5
hahaha aussies got so mad. it's just hilarious, well done Noel
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Post by masterplan200 on Oct 21, 2006 21:38:07 GMT -5
Al that remains to be said is he is a Manchester Shitty (City) supporter and was stoned when he said that probably. To all of you English, we have Butcher AND have beaten you 3-1 so stop attacking us!
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Post by wankinginthebushes on Oct 22, 2006 6:03:46 GMT -5
Al that remains to be said is he is a Manchester Shitty (City) supporter and was stoned when he said that probably. To all of you English, we have Butcher AND have beaten you 3-1 so stop attacking us! awwww getting all upset because someone slagged off an aussie sport. boo hoo. |
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Post by masterplan200 on Oct 22, 2006 7:15:31 GMT -5
Al that remains to be said is he is a Manchester Shitty (City) supporter and was stoned when he said that probably. To all of you English, we have Butcher AND have beaten you 3-1 so stop attacking us! awwww getting all upset because someone slagged off an aussie sport. boo hoo. Gallagher, you are shit: Socceroos |
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Post by wankinginthebushes on Oct 22, 2006 7:23:04 GMT -5
ill tell him when i see him next then. im sure he will be devastated!!
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Post by masterplan200 on Oct 22, 2006 7:49:20 GMT -5
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Post by wankinginthebushes on Oct 22, 2006 9:04:15 GMT -5
so why do you keep going on about it then?
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Post by Jimmy D on Oct 22, 2006 14:08:09 GMT -5
boo fuckin hoo! Aussies and toffees getting wound up about a silly thing what we were all thinkin anyway hahaha!
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Post by wolffman on Oct 22, 2006 21:21:09 GMT -5
Jesus who writes these shitty ass stories. I can barely understand it.
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Post by lewierocknroll on Oct 22, 2006 23:23:41 GMT -5
Im an Aussie and love football and love Tim Chaill. Thought what he said was fucking hilarious but then I love Noel and know thats just him.
If he slags ya off, its an honour!
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Post by nyr401994 on Oct 23, 2006 0:45:19 GMT -5
i love getting a rise out of people. if people are getting pissed off, it's a lot of fun. noel ain't much different.
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ozfan2
Oasis Roadie
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Post by ozfan2 on Oct 23, 2006 7:40:56 GMT -5
Its a bit like Ronaldo and Rooney. Noel is just pressing the Aussies buttons!
1) They hate being slagged off, especially by a 'Pom'
2) The Inteligensa bit really gets Aussies as they are very sensitive about how the World perceives them, as they are desperate to appear cultured and above all, intelligent
3) They love sport and the Soccerros are considered saints at the moment.
The fact they got worked up and there has been all this media hoo ha says it all. It's incredible!! But there is no such thing as bad publicity and if Noel can get an item in the UK press about his spat with Australia they they will also add oasis, who are about to release STC.
Was he so calculated, maybe, maybe not but I love just watching oasis at work. Better than U2 or Colplay who are gushing with insincere praise all the time.
I do love Australia and Australians and the Socceroos are OK too. But the Aussies are very sensitive about how the world perceives them.
All I say Australia, relax, your'e OK, we all love you, he was only taking the piss, calling you names-Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you...The Brits love doing this by the way.
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Post by oliverlewis on Oct 23, 2006 16:42:11 GMT -5
If it was about getting in the news he has certainly succeeded. (put Noel Gallagher into Google and search news) The Aussies are OK at football but just because they did OK in the World Cup they think they are the best team in the world, no way would they have beaten Italy either in extra time. Iv'e seen Australia and some of their teams (like the dire Sydney United) and its like watching a Division 1 or lower Premiership team. They have decent enough skills but never really look dangerous. In internationals, the players tend to be fit so they tend to win in the latter stages of a game. But its not entertaining to watch. Football is all new to Australians so they an't compare. news.google.co.uk/news?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLJ,GGLJ:2006-40,GGLJ:en&q=Noel%20Gallagher%20&sa=N&tab=wn |
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Post by Poshbird05 on Oct 23, 2006 19:50:11 GMT -5
Oh please, suck it up so he ripped on your team it's called having pride in your team you feel like you're better then everyone. All Noel is trying to do is get the reaction that people are giving
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Post by brumoscardo on Oct 23, 2006 23:38:19 GMT -5
boo fuckin hoo! Aussies and toffees getting wound up about a silly thing what we were all thinkin anyway hahaha! Exactly. Anyone knows they're shit at football. They don't even call it football ffs. It's an north american term soccer isn't it? I do disagree with Noel on telling them to give up anyways. They better still play coz otherwise there'll never be the weak teams for us to beat.......... hahahahaha |
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Nov 4, 2024 5:04:30 GMT -5