Im gonna post this interview in 2 parts, because I got this error:



Part 1

Oasis - The Bruise Brothers



The Kinks did it. But no-one does it like Oasis, five lads who won't waste words when a punch will do, and who, incidentally, play classic rock 'n' roll like the Mondays mixed with the Beatles at their roughest. JOHN HARRIS ducks the Gallagher brothers' flying fists and hears tales of whores, Eurovision and aggro on ferries. Flash knockdown: STEVE DOUBLE.

"Keith Moon marched into the room with that sort of manic gleam in his eye, banged the bag down on the table, said 'Keef? I'm Keef,' and proceeded to dig into the bag and bring out an axe. The journalist stared at the axe. He took a deep breath, screwed up his courage and asked 'What's that for?'.
'That's for Roger Daltry,' said Moon lethally. 'You haven't seen him 'ave you?'"
from Hope I Die before I Get Old, The Story Of The Who
Liam Gallagher is poised above his elder brother, pressing his hand into Noel's face, and occasionally barking frantic questions, like the one about whether or not he fancies being pushed through a window. "Let's f---ing go then, you DICK!" says Liam. "Let's have a f---ing FIGHT."
The press officer sits in the corner, oozing mild embarrassment. A confidante of the brothers nonchalantly pulls on his joint as if he sees this every day. The journalist, having had his tape recorder forcibly switched off, looks on, aghast.
Hey hey! They're Oasis! And they hate each others f---ing guts…<br>
Oasis ARE a gang of five young men from Burnage, South Manchester: a gang that was created to revolve around the Gallagher brothers. Because they're being interrogated by the press, Liam (vocals) and Noel (lead guitar) have exiled Bonehead (rhythm guitar), Paul McGuigan (bass) and drummer Tony McCarroll to a Glaswegian hotel bar to carry on drinking for England. A conversation with the two of them, they say, will more than suffice. This is undoubtedly true.

Noel is 26. He once was a roadie for a band he refuses to name (Inspiral Carpets), he has eyebrows that make him look like a Thunderbirds approximation of a young Soviet apparatchik, he used to spend his time on the road eating cornflakes sprinkled with cocaine instead of sugar (until it reduced his weight to eight stone and his girlfriend no longer recognised him), and he only joined Oasis on the condition that he wrote all the lyrics and all the music. Most of the time, he is considered, calm, and endlessly rational.

Liam, meanwhile, is 22. His first encounter with your correspondent ends when, having had his "how are you" question met with "pretty good", he announces that this isn't really good enough, spins round on his boots, and goes back to smoking draw with the road crew. He eventually returns, and reveals himself to be an assured, funny, and effortlessly cool young man with the eyes of a puppy dog and beautiful corduroy trousers. According to his admirers, he is nothing other than drop-dead sexy, in a funny sort of way.

All this would matter little, were it not for the fact that the Gallagher brothers are in charge of a brilliant rock 'n' roll band: an inspired meeting of fuzztone guitars, startling songs, and the same bleary-eyed aloofness ('attitude', in the parlance of the dullard) that ran through the Mondays and the Roses.

They've just released a debut single on Creation Records, called 'Supersonic', that sounds like prime Beatles-esque psychedelia fed through the heads of pilled-up, hard-faced young Mancunians. They have an album's worth of songs that are even better. They are also one of those very, very rare bands whose live performances - like tonight's, in a freezing tramshed - make you want to pack up an army kit bag with underpants and follow them round the country.

It's also helpful to bear in mind that Oasis are already known for being a volatile rock unit. They have been ejected from a Dutch ferry, en route to a concert in Amsterdam, after drinking a bottle of bourbon each and fighting anyone within punching distance. Last week, they were escorted off Stonehenge after climbing the fence and trying to reclaim the monument for the people. The week before, they were charged with theft of a fleet of Scottish golfcarts. And days before we meet, they had to curtail a gig in Southampton after Noel punched Liam in the face and then chased him off the stage.

They've also spent the afternoon torching Glaswegian shrubbery for the benefit of our photographer. But enough! We have precious little time, so we'll reel through the highlights of the first hour of the interview and move on. This, for example, is Noel…<br>
"The quote from this band about S*M*A*S*H is this, right. Smash always has and always will be mashed potato in a packet. When they split up and they die, you'll still be able to go to Tesco's and buy your packet of Smash and throw it in a f---ing pan and get your mashed potatoes. S*M*A*S*H mean nothing to this band. Just mashed f---ing potatoes." And, moments later, this is Noel again.
"Miles Hunt wears a T-shirt with 'Idiot' written on it. I couldn't think of a better person to wear a T-shirt with 'Idiot' on it. But he should change it, really. He should have 'TOTAL F---ING NOBHEAD' written across his chest." And this is Noel again.
"I get a buzz off giving new songs to Alan McGee, 'cos he actually thinks we're the greatest band in the f---ing world. He phones me up at four or five o'clock in the morning. I'll get out of bed and it's McGee on the other end going, 'I'M FEELING SUPERSONIC! GET ME GIN AND TONIC! WE'RE GONNA ANNIHILATE THE WORLD, MAN!' That, in a nutshell, is why we're on Creation records: 'cos the Prez is up at five in the morning, reciting the lyrics down the f---ing phone."
"He phoned me up from Hawaii, right. I could hear water in the background. He had a f---ing phone on the f---ing beach, on a f---ing li-lo, going, 'Whoa, man. I've just heard 'Cigarettes And Alcohol'. And I'm going, 'Yeah. I'm in Manchester, it's Friday afternoon, and I've got three quid to go and buy a pizza… '"

Noel also reckons that Oasis will move on from their 'Love Me Do' stage pretty quickly, and have something as earth-shaking as 'Revolver' recorded within two years. He says he has a song called 'All Around The World' that he wants to enter for the Eurovision Song Contest, because it's as good as 'Hey Jude' and it'll win. And he claims, in thrillingly deadpan tones, that he has known for ages that he's in charge of the best band in Britain.
He also has a younger brother who sings for him, in between dragging the group into minor infamy and pressing his hand into Noel's face. As we shall see.

"When we hit town, we hit it. We were not pissing about. There are photographs of me grovelling about, crawling about in Amsterdam on my knees, coming out of whore houses and things like that, and people saying, 'Good morning John'."
John Lennon

MID-WAY through the interview, something strange happens. We stop talking about trifles like the lyrics of 'Supersonic', their relations with Creation, why every other band is shit and whatever else, and suddenly get waved down a road marked 'Sibling Rivalry Rock 'N' Roll Fun City'. After several false starts (the odd cross word, apparently harmless ribbing), the interview becomes the radio play of your dreams, and the journalist squeezes about three words into an hour-long conversation, reproduced here in most of its garish glory.

Bear in mind, please, that the following madness has little to do with the central reasons (blinding songs, traditional cool, skewed virtuosity) why Oasis are so fantastic; it's just that, for your entertainment alone, it demands to be recounted. As follows.

How, I wonder, do Oasis feel about their notoriety as rock 'n' roll pigs?
Liam: "I'm into it, me. I'm into it. But at the end of the day, I go off home and get a clip off me mam. And I DO. She clips me around the ear and goes, 'What have you been doing, you mad bastard?' But I like the way it's bubbling up. It's like the Roses all over again. I like that, me. I want to get 2000 people in a nice f---ing gaff who are there to see ME…"
Noel: "That's not what he's on about."
Liam: "He is."
Noel: "No he's f---ing not. He's on about getting thrown off ferries."
This is true.
Noel: "Well, the thing about getting thrown off ferries and getting deported is not summat I'm proud about."
Liam: "Well I am, la."
Noel: "Right then. Well if you're proud about getting thrown off ferries then why don't you go and support West Ham and get the f--- out of my band and go and be a f---ing football hooligan. We're MUSICIANS, right?"
Liam: "You're only gutted 'cos you were in bed, reading your f---ing books…"
Noel: "SHUT UP YOU DICK. He gets off the ferry after being f---ing deported; and I'm left in Amsterdam with me dick out like a f--ing spare prick at a f---ing wedding…"
Liam: "It was a bad move…"
Noel: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! He gets off the ferry, and Marcus, our manager, says 'What the f--- are you doing?' This lot think it's rock 'n' roll to get thrown off a ferry. And do know what my manager said to him? He said, 'Nah. Rock 'n' roll is playing in Amsterdam, coming back, and telling everyone you blew 'em away.' NOT getting thrown off the ferry like a f---ing scouse schlepper with handcuffs. I won't stand for it. It's football hooliganism."
Liam: "No it isn't."
Noel: "Listen. They all got fined a thousand pounds each…"
Liam: "NO WE F---ING DIDN'T. You can stick your thousand pounds right up your arse till it comes out your f---ing big toe. What happened on that boat, right, is this. We had a few f---ing drinks, 'cos I like drinking. I love it."